Short hair does not an old lady make.

Today I was trying desperately to get my baby fed, manage my work phone, take care of some personal needs, all the while needing to get into the car to bring the cat to the vet. So as I'm loading all my precious cargo into my overly messy car, I caught a glimpse of myself in the window reflection.


Good God, I look old!

I know I'm still young in some ways. I'm 32, certainly not forking away money for the funeral plot. But I feel old. I see these new wrinkles, the gray hairs that are slowly popping up, the parentheses that are around my lips. My usually vibrant eyes seem more dull. My skin is dry. My hair was cut short yesterday and resembles my mental image of a high school librarian. And well, I just don't feel very pretty. At least not today.

It is no coincidence that my new leap in granny pants coincides with having a baby. Now, post baby, I'm really seeing that I have just jumped into a new life bracket. I am the 30 something mom now. My mental state reflects this new era. My once carefree, nomadic days are over. I got me a jobby job and a youngin. And an old ball and chain. And I've learned new, ever so adult skills, like how to juggle a carseat with baby, baby bag, gym bag, work bag, pumping bag, all the while talking on the phone and drinking a cup of coffee. I've got mad skills.

So I'm certainly not applying for my AARP anytime soon. And I'm not busting out the AquaNet to manage my perfectly feathered do. So I guess I could embrace this new life, which of course is silly to write because of course I have. Most days. I live in an insanely beautiful place, and Ellie will be over a year old this summer and will be more open to new life experiences. This is where I think I have some control over my old lady ways. I can still experience the freedom of summer living, just now I have a little buddy, and a whole lot more responsibility. But man, her little eyes reflected back at me, filled with awe, filled with excitement over all the newness that is in her little world, THIS makes me feel vibrant. And though I am her role model and mom, and none of those things are new to me, they feel fresh again. And life can feel fresh again. And I do believe that remembering THIS is the magical remedy to bring some youthfulness into my inner old lady. So today I am making myself remember that. Because reflections can sometimes send you for tizzies.

So take THAT car reflection! Put that in your pipe and smoke it!