The 'tude

There is one simple truth that I have an uncanny knack for forgetting: it's all about the attitude.

Sometimes I have to kick myself for forgetting this simple concept. These are the times when I get a little pissy that all of the sudden our house feels like it was built for midgets and there are baby toys everywhere. Or that unwinding after work now means trying to pin down the wiggliest 7 month old in the world to get her pajamas on her. Or that in being someone's nurse you are expected to have the answer to every medical problem someone experiences. Sometimes I feel stressed when I can not be what people look to me to be. When I can't make it all better. When I listen to my baby have coughing fits in the middle of the night. When I forget to order a patient their medication. When I know my baby is in the throws of separation anxiety and whomever I leave her with is going to have to deal with that.

And yet there are times when I get in the car to start my day and feel real joy about my job, and feel really special about the role I'm playing in someone's last days. There are the times when I am playing on the floor with my daughter and think there could not be a greater happiness then loving this little perfect being and seeing her thrive. Or watching her face as she suddenly learns a new skill. Or looking over at my husband as we rock out in Rockband and knowing that we are together, bonded by love and rock and roll.

And so it's a funny balance between these two worlds, discord and contentment. The situations remain the same, yet the emotions are worlds apart, completely defined in how I choose to approach them. Kind of makes me think that maybe I'm not so powerless.

Kind of makes me think I need to remember this more often.